


The Avengers Domestic Agenda

by Codexfawkes



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:37:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Codexfawkes/pseuds/Codexfawkes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick knew he was going to have to meet with them to discuss the situation, so he contacted Stark. The dinner invitation he’d received made little sense, yet compared to the scene before him it was a bastion of sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avengers Domestic Agenda

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set after Thor 2 and completely disregards Cap 2. I own nothing. Any characters used from the Marvel universe and any quotes from anywhere are not mine. Joss is Boss.

Nick Fury prided himself on many things. His ability to keep twelve steps ahead of most situations was one of them. He knew the Avengers Initiative had the potential to change the world, as well as the people who made up the team, for the better. What he didn't expect was to return from a month long mission that only he could handle, to find that Hill had uncovered a situation. It seems that after Thor reappeared in London, fucking elves seriously, Stark had taken it upon himself to quietly move the all of his fellow Avengers and their various associates into Stark Tower. Barton and Romanov had joined them and used their skills to help Stark hide it for as long as possible.

To say this development was troubling would be an understatement. Frankly it didn't make a damn bit of sense. Especially Romanov and Barton, they were the very definition of lone wolves. Other than Coulson, the only other person either of them had shown true loyalty to is each other. One of the many reasons Barton’s marriage failed. Nick knew he was going to have to meet with them to discuss the situation, so he contacted Stark. The dinner invitation he’d received from the man made little sense, yet compared to the scene before him it was a bastion of sanity.

Nick stood in the open archway, a few feet from the elevator looking out over a large open plan kitchen, dining, and living room. In the kitchen Darcy Lewis, former intern and now assistant to Jane Foster stood chopping vegetables and tossing them into a huge salad bowl. Bruce was cutting a large loaf of warm garlic bread and depositing pieces onto a large tray. At the dining table, Steve sat hunched over a sketch book and appeared to be coloring something in. Over in the living area, Clint sat on the floor next to Thor, both barefoot in jeans and tees playing some kind of video game. On one of the couches Natasha was curled up with a book in her lap.

Fury had never seen her the way she looked now. Hair damp from a shower, a large soft looking sweater hanging off one shoulder, leggings and on her feet honest to God bunny slippers. Across from her on another couch sat Stark, ripped jeans and band tee not surprising, though the bare feet were. Pepper, who had her legs slung across his lap as they whispered to each other, on the other hand was a downright shock. Jean shorts, rainbow colored socks that went almost to her knees, and a tee that had ponies on it were completely unexpected. This was almost secondary to the fact that her hair was in motherfucking pig tails.

“Steve, put that away and set the table please.” Darcy said smiling at him.

Steve immediately began gathering his things, they were tucked into a cubby under the breakfast bar, and then he headed for a sideboard, pulling out a stack of place-mats.

“Natasha, would you get the glasses and salad dressing please?” Bruce asked softly as he brought the tray of bread over to the table. Natasha nodded and marked her place before heading for the kitchen, ignoring Fury as she walked by, no one else seemed to have noticed him yet.

“Clint, Thor, it’s time to turn that off.” Darcy announced as she brought the large salad to the table.

“Awww, come on one more race.” Clint whined.

“Clint, Darcy said now.” Bruce responded firmly, getting a sigh from the other man even as he moved to comply.

“Thor, I thought Jane was just stopping to change the shirt she spilled coffee on?” Darcy asked looking around the room.

“That is what she said.” Thor confirmed. Fury watched as Lewis sighed and addressed Jarvis, his eyebrows going high that Stark let her have access to his AI.

“Jarvis, is Jane back in her lab?” Darcy asked crossing her arms under her chest, one hip cocking.

“Yes Miss Lewis,” Jarvis confirmed.

“Please save her work and initiate a lab shut down. Access to resume tomorrow morning at nine.” Darcy ordered.

“Janey’s in trouble,” Tony snickered.

“Tony,” Bruce sighed. Pepper nudged Tony with an annoyed look.

“Don’t, Darcy made chocolate peanut butter brownies for desert.,” she warned with a hiss.

“You did?” Tony asked, his face lighting up in anticipation.

“Yes, so I guess you better not tease Jane if you want some.” Darcy confirmed.

Fury stood there, unable to process what was happening in front of him. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes reduced to…children. It was like a giant game of house, he could only pray that it wasn't some freaky group sex thing.

“Director Fury, glad you could make it.” Bruce was saying now, walking toward him with a smile.

“What exactly is happening here?” Nick asked looking around the room. Darcy had retreated to the kitchen, Steve had finished setting the table and was now sitting on the couch Natasha had returned to after she’d set several bottles of salad dressing on the table and lining glasses up on the breakfast bar.

“What do you mean?” Bruce asked motioning Fury further into the room and leading him to the living area. Before Nick could answer, the elevator dinged softly and Jane Foster came stomping out and into the kitchen.

“Darcy, I was woorrking! No fair kicking me out of the lab.” Jane whined, stomping her foot.

“Jane Foster, you stop that right now.” Darcy said sternly.

“But…” Jane tried to argue.

“No buts, work is done for today. You know the rules, we eat dinner together. Not only did you lie about changing your shirt and snuck back into the lab, now you’re making a scene in front of Director Fury. So I think no brownies for desert.” Darcy told her. Jane looked like she was about to argue, but Lewis simply arched an eyebrow at her and the other woman deflated.

“Sorry Darcy,” Jane said her head hanging.

“What are you sorry for?” Darcy prompted.

“I’m sorry for lying, sneaking back into the lab, and making a scene.” Jane recited dutifully.

“I accept your apology. Now apologize to Director Fury, go on.” Darcy said with a shooing motion before turning to the oven and beginning to remove two large lasagna’s. Fury watched in wide-eyed surprise as Jane walked over to stand in front of him.

“Director Fury, I’d like to apologize for that display. It was incredibly unprofessional and I regret the hastiness of my actions.,” she said. Fury nodded numbly, which seemed sufficient because the woman turned and walked toward Bruce who was standing by the breakfast bar.

“Sorry Bruce,” Jane said softly.

“Apology accepted, go wash your hands okay dinner’s almost on the table.” Bruce told her with a gentle smile. Fury watched dumbfounded as Jane headed for the sink and Bruce began filling almost all of the glasses laid out with milk.

“Pepper, will you bring these to the table please?” Bruce asked before heading for the refrigerator.

“Director, what would you like to drink? Milk, water, iced tea, beer?” Bruce offered.

“Beer, any kind you got.” Nick replied.

“Oh Director, I’m so sorry, Natasha please take the Directors coat and hang it up in the hall closet.” Darcy said as she carried a huge pan of lasagna toward the table. Natasha stood and walked toward Nick, a playful smirk on her lips.

“May I take your coat?” she asked. Nick narrowed his eye at her, but shrugged off the leather coat and let her take it.

“Alright you lot, come sit down.” Darcy said as she placed a second huge lasagna on the table. The others hurried to the table and with much clattering of chairs, settled into seats. Bruce motioned Nick into the chair at the foot of the table, sitting at the head of the table himself with Darcy at his left.

“Everyone take hands,” Darcy directed. Fury very reluctantly took Steve’s hand on one side and Pepper’s on the other. Tony however, stubbornly crossed his arms.

“Tony don’t be a brat,” Steve said glaring.

“Steve,” Bruce said warningly. Fury watched as Captain Fucking America dropped his eyes like a naughty school boy.

“Tony what’s the rule?” Darcy asked.

“I don’t have  to pray but I have to be respectful of those who do.” Tony recited rolling his eyes.

“Exactly, so if you want to lose your desert privileges too, by all means keep it up.” Darcy replied. The speed with which Tony grabbed Pepper and Thor’s hands was comical.

“Steve,” Bruce prompted. Everyone bowed their heads, even Tony, and Steve said grace.

“For good food and those who prepare it, for good friends with whom to share it, we thank you Lord.,” he said. Heads came back up, hands were dropped and everyone began digging into the food. For the most part Fury sat back and observed. The large group was lively and cheerful, topics of work were for the most part forbidden, but Tony did go on for a while about a new robot he was building.

“That sounds awesome Tony, can’t wait to see it in action.” Darcy praised smiling proudly at the older man. Tony preened under her approving gaze, a pleased grin taking over his face. Fury felt like he was in the damned Twilight Zone, this whole scene was creepy as hell and yet…somehow charming. Once everyone had eaten their fill, Steve and Thor demolishing an entire lasagna on their own, Clint and Thor cleared the table with only a minimum of grumbling.

“Jane why don’t you go look for a movie on Netflix.” Bruce suggested, and with a nod she lead the others into the living space.

“Would you like some coffee Nick?” Darcy asked moving into the kitchen as the two men finished their appointed task, putting the left overs away and loading the dish washer.

“Sure,” Fury agreed walking over to lean against the breakfast bar.

Once Clint and Thor had joined the others, Bruce produced two pans of brownies and popped them into the oven on low heat.

“Warming them up,” he explained at Fury’s questioning look.

“Warm, gooey brownie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream, nothing like it.” Darcy elaborated as the coffee started to drip and she pulled a stack of small plates out of the cabinet. Bruce was pulling out three mugs and maneuvering around Darcy as she brought out a stack of forks and an ice cream scoop.

“Alright I have to know, what the hell is all this?” Fury asked.

“Ummm desert?” Darcy asked confused. Fury opened his mouth at say something, but in the face of her genuine confusion he simply shook his head. Darcy turned off the oven and grabbed an oven mitt that looked like a crocodile, using it to pull the brownie pans out of the oven. The scent of warm chocolate hit the air and Nick was amazed by how good it smelled. Bruce and Darcy worked like a well-oiled machine, plating brownies and scooping ice cream. 

Nick fixed his coffee the way he liked it and followed them into the living area where everyone had gathered. Thor and Jane were cuddled on one couch, with Steve at the other end. On the couch across from them Clint and Natasha were curled around each other and Pepper was sitting tucked into Tony’s side. He settled into a ridiculously comfortable leather recliner while watching Lewis and Banner hand out desert. They disappeared into the kitchen as everyone cuddled under blankets and held onto their plates clearly waiting for something. Nick was having a hard time even looking at Barton and Romanov. Jane was pouting and looking at Thor’s desert enviously. Darcy and Bruce returned each with a plate and mug of their own, settling down onto the only vacant seat, a love seat and Darcy placed her things down to spread a large patch work quilt over their legs.

“Oooo, Darcy got the **_looove_** blanket.” Tony drawled.

“Can we have a little sister?” Clint teased grinning.

“Don’t be an ass,” Bruce admonished, even as he grinned behind his mug.

“Alright Jane, what are we watching?” Darcy asked as the lights lowered without prompting.

“Season One of the BBC Sherlock.” Jane replied as the first episode began to play.

Only once the episode was playing did everyone begin eating their desert. Fury spent a surreal hour watching the Avengers as they ate desert and cuddled each other. He watched Banner admonish Tony for talking over the television, and Darcy demand to see Clint and Natasha’s hands on top of their shared blanket. Thor was caught sneaking Jane bites of his desert and almost had it taken away from him. Pepper tripped over Steve’s feet on the way back from the bathroom and kicked him like an annoyed little sister, declaring he did it on purpose when Banner admonished her. Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, retreated to her boyfriend’s lap and pouted. Which is about the time Fury got the fuck out. He no longer cared what any of them got up to inside the tower, as long as they did their jobs and left him the fuck out of it.

 

24 Hours Earlier….

Tony stood in his work shop looking at Fury over a video call. “Care to explain to me why you've assembled all of the Avengers to live in your tower without discussing it with me?” Fury demanded.

“I wasn't aware that I was required to get **_your_** opinion on who I invite to live in **_my_** tower.” Tony shot back.

“Banner was one thing, but Dr. Foster is a SHIELD asset. Romanov, Barton, and Rogers are SHIELD agents in addition to being Avengers. Moving them into Iron Man’s heavily fortified tower in the middle of Manhattan is something I should have been consulted on. Why the hell did they agree to this anyway?” Fury asked.

“You wanted a happy, shiny team and now you've got one. What’s the problem?” Tony shot back smirking.

“You want me to believe you've done this in the name of team bonding? That you’re all one big happy family?” Fury scoffed.

Tony flinched as Darcy tossed a small piece of metal at his back. “Hold that thought; Jarvis.” Tony said having the AI put Fury on hold.

“What the hell Lewis?” Tony asked.

“I got an idea, wanna fuck with Fury?” Darcy asked.

“Always, what’ve you got in mind?” Tony asked with a grin.

“Well, that crack about one big happy family. What do you say we give it to him, son.” Darcy said smirking. A quick check in with the others had them all agreeing to the game. Turning back to the console Tony told Jarvis to put the director back on the line.

“Sorry about that, SI mostly emergency. Look, if you’re so concerned about us all living here why don’t you come to dinner tomorrow and see there’s nothing to be worried about.” Tony offered with a sigh.

“Fine, contact my assistant with a time.” Fury agreed after a long moment.

“Excellent, see you then.” Tony said before disconnecting the call. Turning to Darcy, Tony began to laugh. “Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

 

 


End file.
